My sentiments exactly

Up until recently, I had some challenging feelings about my assignment.  Without going into much detail, I felt like I wasn't truly needed at my site and I was concerned that I wouldn't really be useful here.  I was also really frustrated with myself for not making more of an effort to get to know my community.  I was perfectly content to stay in my house all day and all night.  In fact, I had come to terms with the possibility of spending the next two years building my literary repertoire and studying for the GREs.  Mind you, these are still major priorities for me.  But as of this week, I have felt new "wind beneath my wings."

It is interesting that my feelings are starting to change, because I've just received the September/October edition of the Coconut Wireless, the volunteer newsletter for our country.  In it, the editors list the issues we may be facing at our current stage in development.  The group I am a part of should be concerned with assignment, separation/ solitude and uncertainty of role. (check check and double check).  Our behavior or reaction might be fright, frustration with self, loneliness, weight or health changes, homesickness and uselessness.  (not so much, 2xcheck, 4xcheck, 6xcheck, check and check.)  We were warned when coming here that we will pass these two years on an emotional rollercoaster and what's worse- every one of our emotions are totally predictable.  Just imagine-- not only are you a mental wreck, but you aren't the least bit original in your pains!

I spent a good chunk of time out of my community last week.  Enough time that I really started to feel guilty about neglecting my work.  I have been really happy to spend time with my friends, but I have also come to realize that, while we make a great group of people, my experience here is not about meeting a bunch of Americans.  I am here to really familiarize myself with my community, the Fijian people and their way of life.

I'm excited to say that I've really started to make connections with people, I have a couple of good friends in my village and in my town and I am starting to be really really really excited about the work I will be doing.  More on that later! :)